


Peter Lukas and Self Care

by theatretechlesbian



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Serial Divorcees Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, it just sort of happened, peter lukas is a facebook mum, sometimes u just get an idea and have to write about it, this joke is so stupid but so funny to me, wine uncles ltd.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:14:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatretechlesbian/pseuds/theatretechlesbian
Summary: self care and bubble baths with wine are good for the soulnot so good for prolonged marriage though
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	Peter Lukas and Self Care

**Author's Note:**

> brain really went "peter having a bath but with his hat still on" and just kept going

The bathroom in the flat was nothing like what Peter was used to. It was, unsurprisingly, far more comfortable and cosy. For all his attempts to redecorate during every honeymoon period they have, Elias always seemed to return their shared flat to something that looks like it belongs on a dark academia Pinterest board. There seemed to be more and more structurally impossible book nooks every time he came back. 

Despite himself, Peter was having a rather nice time. He was lounging in a bathtub close to overfilling, with bubbles floating on the surface like seafoam's neurotypical cousin. The room was misty, not with the fog of the Lonely, but instead with steam and condensation and maybe a bit of smoke from the sea salt and vanilla candles dotted around the room. They'd been a welcome home gift from Elias, after four months or so out with the Tundra and its crew. You've got to have something that smells like home, don't you?

Partially submerged and no longer chilled is Peter's obscenely large glass of wine, balanced delicately between his fingers. His mind flicked briefly back to that MeMe he shared on FaceBook the other day. _It's five o'clock somewhere!_

He sunk deeper into the hot water, careful not to get his captain's hat wet. He was still wearing it. Of course he was. He had absolutely no idea what the time was though. His fingers had pruned long ago, and it may or may not have been daylight when he drew the bath.

  
All of a sudden, he knew his self care day was coming to an end. He could hear the tell tale signs of Elias coming home, keys thrown in the bowl, the squeak of that one particular floorboard, the sound of the wine cabinet opening. And, subsequently, (although this bit was new) an exasperated groan as Elias noticed that one of his vintage 1870's vintages had gone missing. And if the bottle of said 1870's vintage was currently standing empty on the small wicker drawers next to the bath tub, well, that was nobody's business but Peter's.

He was surprised however, that his self care time wasn't immediately interrupted after that revelation. He'd expected Elias to come marching up, banging on the door of the bathroom, but...nothing.Peter was disappointed if anything. It was rather a fun game to see which argument would lead to Elias whipping out some divorce papers from his shirt pocket, or his jacket pocket, or his coat pocket. There was even one time where he wasn't wearing anything at all and-

Maybe that was a trip down memory lane he would have another day. He decided that he might as well enjoy his time whilst he can. Sipping his wine and closing his eyes, Peter made the decision to stay exactly where he was. 

Elias hadn't had a difficult day per say, just sometimes you have to deal with stupid people, doing stupid things, getting stupidly close to finding out your evil plans. Sometimes you get to express your negativity with a bit of brutal pipe murder, or gentle psychological trauma, but as today was simply a normal day at the Institute, neither opportunity had appeared. So, a glass or two of wine would have to do.

Except, of course, that the bottle he had intended to inhale the moment he got through the door was no longer in the cabinet. Elias took a deep, deep breath. If the steam escaping from the bathroom door was any indication, Peter was in the bath. Apparently the past four months near and on the water wasn't enough for him.   
Instead of grumbling, Elias looked through the rest of the cabinet for anything else even worth drinking. He came up empty.

_Bastard sailing wine-thieving handsome arsehole._

This was the longest they'd stayed married since their first divorce, and Peter had spent half of the time out at sea. Elias was determined not to mention divorce. At least, not until Peter said something actually worth divorcing over.

With this thought in mind, Elias sat at the table and closed his eyes, instead looking through his Eyes to pass the time until Peter got out of the bath. He watched the people from the Institute go about their business, watched as Jon overworked themselves, and the others worried and bitched. He watched, and the time flew by.

At some point, made dinner. Peter was still in the bath.

He waited a little while, and then ate dinner. Peter was still in the bath.

He settled down with a post-dinner espresso and his cafetiere. Peter was still in the bath.

He sat down and listened to the couple fighting in the flat below. Peter was still in the bath.

Midnight rolled around, and Elias had completed his extensive skincare routine, picked out his pyjamas, changed into his pyjamas, decided he picked the wrong pair, changed into a different pair of pyjamas, and was now ready for bed in all ways except having brushed his teeth. This was because his toothbrush was in the bathroom. And Peter was _still. In. The. Bath_.

He couldn't take it anymore.

"J _eye_ sus Christ Peter, how long can you spend in a single fucking bath tub?"

All he could hear from beyond the door was stifled chuckling. "I need to brush my teeth. Get out the bath."

"Or what? You'll divorce me?" Elias could hear the smug look on Peter's face. The face belonging to a body that was still in the bath

Elias wasn't quite sure where the energy came from to break through the door, emergency pyjama divorce papers in hand, but he was sure that the look on Lukas' face was worth any damage done. 


End file.
